Much-Needed Comfort Food

Hello from Central Texas. How are you doing? As odd as it sounds, I’m happy to see 90° weather. It’s such a relief. Next thing you know it’ll be 85 and then 80 and it’s a downhill slope to mid-60’s all winter long. Not that I mind the heat too much. I like to sit on the front porch and talk with the neighbor across the street, when she happens to be sitting on her front porch. I think that matching rocking chairs really brings a neighborhood together.

Anyway, I just sit out there and don’t move much. I have my water and maybe something else, depending on how I feel. You can hear the cicadas humming and watch the birds and squirrels duke it out over the food they might find in the yard. I haven’t seen any cardinals this year, and I’m kind of okay with that. Those little buggers are mean.

This past week really tried my nerves. I almost had to faint to get people to pay attention. Don’t think I won’t do it. You can only push me so hard and then I pretend to crumble and you have to take a lot of time to pick me up and make sure I’m breathing. I’m telling you, it’s not worth it. Just listen to me the first time.

So, after all of that nonsense I needed to get out of my house and eat some comfort food. I called my cousin Myrna and told her what I was going through and she asked if I wanted to try Eva Mae’s Kitchen on Main St. I’ve seen Eva Mae’s before, and they have a picture of who I’m certain is their grandmother on their sign. Anybody who has a painting of their grandma on their sign is bound to have great food. When Myrna told me they have a bar as well, I was ready to walk out the door in five minutes. I’ve never decided on shoes so fast in my life.

I’d heard that they were only open on the weekends, but here we were, in the weekend. It was meant to be.

I met Myrna on Main Street, outside of the Chemn Café. I was tempted to go in and have a latte, but I had my heart set on comfort food, so I waited for her to drive up and park. It was a nice evening so we walked across the street to a lovely old yellow house with a huge patio and that sign in the front with Eva Mae’s face on it.

There was a nice crowd outside and as soon as we opened the door I could tell why. The smell that came through the door made my eyelids flutter, it smelled so good. I saw people on the patio sitting around tables and having delicious beverages and why haven’t I come here before? I even heard somebody say something about a musician playing later.

Inside it was pretty simple. There was space to the left for kids to play and the majority of the rest of the building was open—no indication that it used to be a house with room. People talking and eating. I saw corn bread, I saw black-eyed peas, green beans, fried chicken, beef tips. I almost fell on the floor.

Myrna decided she wanted to sit outside, but the nice gentleman said that there were no tables open just at the moment, so we could wait if we’d like. Myrna had her heart set on eating on the patio, so we sat outside in a little area set aside, and they brought us something to drink to keep us company while we waited.

Still, I could smell that they were frying chicken, and my body was reacting to it.

I understand Myrna’s wanting to be outside. Just being here made me feel better already. It was not a cool night by any means, but it was pleasant enough. I don’t mind a little warmth; it adds to the atmosphere. Like a beach, but without the sand.

And you know how much I love to watch people. I saw a couple at the far end of the patio. I couldn’t see his face, but I was sure that the man was one of the antagonists of my week, and I did not feel like chatting, so I tried to not be caught looking. But, what can I do? The woman he was sitting with was not the same woman I saw him with at the real estate office. I asked Myrna to cover for me because I just had to see what was going on. I did hope, though, that they didn’t sit us too close.

They weren’t terribly animated, kind of boring, actually. That didn’t surprise me, given his attitude when we met. He acted like he thought women shouldn’t be interested in buying real estate, and I acted like he could take his opinion and put it someplace special. But, that’s water under the bridge and I had a drink now so all was forgiven. Forgiving him doesn’t keep him from being a meathead, though. It just keeps me from being annoyed about it.

I asked Myrna what she thought. I mean, I don’t know who the woman was with him before. I didn’t know who this woman was here, for that matter. Myrna ran a hand through her hair and made to work stress out so that she could glance over there. She reported back that they were not related. I don’t know how she would know this, but I learned a long time ago not to question. Myrna is rarely wrong when she says she knows something.

The nice man from the restaurant finally came to take us to our table and I had to practically beg him to seat us at a different one. He said that the other one hadn’t been cleaned yet (which was fairly obvious, but I didn’t say so.) I truly am not one to demand more attention than I am due, but I simply could not sit at the table next to that man, and I wasn’t going to have him look over and see me sitting at a table while they cleared the dishes and wiped it down. I have standards. They’re here somewhere.

So, he humored me and we chatted in the middle of the patio while somebody scurried over to clear off my table. He is a very nice man, and so understanding. He confirmed that the restaurant was a family business and that Eva Mae was, indeed, their grandmother. I told him how sweet that was and we tried to make small talk. I didn’t know how much more I could take of smelling all this food. I thought I might reach over and grab a biscuit out of somebody’s hand.

Finally sitting down at our table, I was practically shaking from hunger. Yes, I needed another drink, but I needed something more substantial to go with it, or they were going to have fun carrying me home. Before I knew it there was a basket of corn bread on the table with pats of butter and I thought that all of my dreams had come true. I was very much living in the moment, and it was an excellent moment to be in.

Apparently their menu changes from one week to the next, so they handed us a sheet of paper each, showing the week’s offering. There are few things on this earth that I like more than fried chicken, but in case my friend over at the corner of the patio, who I had a perfect view of, happened to see me or come by, I didn’t want to be up to my elbows in juice and bones. I like pork chops every bit as much, so I asked for those instead, with mashed potatoes and green beans. (Do not make the mistake of requesting double mashed potatoes. It seems like a good idea and it feels like a good idea, but carbohydrate overload is real.)

Just knowing that my food was being prepared for me put me at ease. And there was a patio full of people, I don’t know why I was spending so much of my time on that one man, who I don’t even like to begin with. There was a small family a few tables over. The children were very well behaved. The boy was wiggling, like boys do. And the little girl was doing her best to sit still, but I could tell she wanted to stand up in her chair and look around. I feel you, little girl. Hang in there. She had the cutest dress on, too.

Almost as soon as our plates arrived and I was putting my napkin on my lap, out of the corner of my eye I saw the man stand up. I asked Myrna if she could see what was going on. She shrugged and said he was coming over to say hi. I mean really. I thought she was my friend.

I put on a big smile when he walked up. He told me it was nice to see me again and did I find any property that I liked. I had no intention of talking about my real estate purchases (actual or theoretical), but I smiled and said there were a few interesting things. At that last part I glanced over at his table where his friend was still sitting, pointedly not looking at us.

He smiled and said that she was his cousin from Dallas, and I thought I’d have to kick Myrna under the table to keep her from correcting him. (Myrna had had a beverage or two as well and you know how we can get.) I just said, “How nice”.

I think I’ve mentioned before that if you just say nothing, people will feel the need to fill up the empty space with words. Especially people with something to hide. For some reason he was making every excuse he could think of for her having come to visit and I could see Myrna just smile and cock her head to one side as she memorized everything he said, in case she needed to throw it back in his face.

And finally he mentioned that his fiancée might not be aware that his cousin was visiting and he was sure that people were all adult enough to not cause a scene. I’m more than adult enough, but watching him slink back to his table was about the best thing I’d seen that night.

As my knife made the first cut in my pork chop I thought that the only thing I like more than good comfort food that sticks to your ribs is watching a man squirm in his own lies. Why would I say anything to anybody? That would just end the fun.

That pork chop with mashed potatoes and gravy bordered on aphrodisiac.

Anastasia at The Owl

Good evening. It’s Anastasia and I’m not going to stay long. I’m heading out to the casbah tonight and I just thought I’d pop by and say hi. I’m meeting a girlfriend over there and we’re planning on giving ourselves something to talk about next week.

Speaking of strange places to drink alcohol, have you ever been to The Owl? I believe the official name is The Owl Wine Bar & Home Goods Store, but that’s a lot of words, so I just usually call it The Owl. If you spell it out, though, make sure you use the ampersand; they’re kind of picky about those things.

Anyway, I just love to pop in there on Friday and Saturday evenings. Friday they have open mic and Saturday they have a musician or small band or something. I have so much fun going there, getting a bottle of wine and sitting with some friends to talk. I like to sit on one of the sofas or soft chairs. I’m not really one to sit on a barstool. Much. Any more. Much.

And they have a menu of munchies. I’ll never forget the time I offered my cousin Myrna a piece off of my plate. She had been trying to eat more healthy and I had a Mediterranean plate. It seemed nice and light and she said she’d been eating more vegetables and trying new dishes, so I gave her one the of dolmas, thinking she’d love it. The look on her face when she bit into it let me know I was oh-so-very wrong about that. I shouldn’t laugh because I love Cousin Myrna dearly, but her face hides nothing. The sour, desperate look on her face made me laugh and feel bad at the same time. I discreetly handed her a few napkins to relieve herself of that unsavory burden.

The lighting is nice because the ceilings are about a hundred and fifty feet high, so the lights don’t glare down on anybody. They have nice lamps and it makes a very nice atmosphere, with the original wooden floor and wooden ceiling. And one day I’ll tell you the story of how they got their name. Our little town has been famous a more than a few times.

It’s so fun to go there because they have the place laid out so nice, with little nooks and crannies everywhere and just wonderful things for a strange home. They have nice pillows for sofas and chairs, but they also have magnifying glasses that look like something Agatha Christie would have used. And I don’t know why you’d buy a candle anywhere else. They have the most darling candles in little metal bins, or glass jars. They’re not French Vanilla; these are scents I love having in my home. They even have one with tobacco and patchouli.

I found a very nice gift for my cousin Jackson a few weeks ago. Actually, it was for him and his wife; I just didn’t tell him that. They have these handsome kits for men; a Swiss army knife, or a shaving kit. I got him a very nice ‘manly’ manicure set. It came in a rugged-looking case and the typography was straight out of a hunting magazine ad. His wife told me that he loved it so much, he used it. So, that was my gift to her; he can keep his overgrown spiky toenails under control.

Well listen, I don’t want to keep you. I’m going to head out and meet up with my girlfriends. Check for us in next week’s Elgin Courier. I’ve never caused a big enough scandal to make it into our little newspaper, but it doesn’t keep me from trying.

We’ll see you.

Elgin Artisans and Art Saved My Aunt

So, the other day I was talking with my Aunt Maudine and she told me that she hasn’t been feeling very energetic lately. This is the woman who taught me to take pharmaceuticals with a vodka tonic, so it’s not terribly surprising to me. But, she was very upset about this. I asked her if she had tried shopping, and she told me that she wasn’t really interested. I’m certain that my nosey next-door neighbor heard my gasp, even without the microphone he installed under my coffee table back in the late 90’s. I told her that I was on my way, but she just said “Don’t bother.”

I’m not usually one to disrespect my elders, but honestly, I couldn’t imagine what was going on in her head, so I got my bag and keys and sunglasses and when I opened the door to go to my car there she was, getting ready to ring the doorbell. “I told you not to bother,” she said.

I just didn’t quite know what to do with her. She recently got married again, found a beautiful home on the lake, decorated it. What else could be the matter. “I just feel empty,” she said, sipping vodka mixed with blood orange Italian soda. Well, if shopping at the nicest department stores in Central Texas doesn’t fill her, then what would? I suggested New York City, but she just waved it away.

I decided that we needed to walk through downtown. I thought it was too bad that it wasn’t the second Thursday of the month. I think she’d like walking around during Sip Shop and Stroll. But, we’d just make the best of it. I thought about stopping off at The Owl first to have a glass of wine, but she seemed to be contented with the vodka she had at home.

We were walking along the sidewalk. She wasn’t saying much and I didn’t see her looking at much. But, she was game to see our pretty little downtown, and that gave me hope. It wasn’t terribly hot yet, but it was getting there, and Aunt Maudine isn’t quite the country girl I am, so we ducked into ATX Jerky to cool off.

I can’t imagine my Aunt Maudine gnawing on a piece of beef jerky, but once we got in out of the heat she began walking around. Looking at the local honeys really seemed to perk her spirits up. The nice gentleman let her sample some on a piece of bread and she became downright talkative. She had him show her every product that they sold, and he was able to tell her who made each one, where they were from, everything but what their children wanted for Christmas. This man knows his artisan products.

I knew what to do next. As soon as we walked out of there, bags in hand, we headed straight for the Clever Tiger. I haven’t been in there that often, but it’s very creative. I never thought of Aunt Maudine to be hanging out with artists, but she’s become a different person in the last 24 hours, so who knows. It just so happened that there was a painter there, setting up a show. This young lady was as pretty as she could be and with a… style. She had on tattered jeans and those black and white tennies that are made of thin material and strap up the ankles. They were never my thing, but this girl really pulled it off. Her hair was a little to perfectly messed up to have been accidental, and a tattoo spun its way down her arm from inside her tee-shirt. Like I said, she was just a lovely little thing, and as sweet a girl as I’ve ever met. She talked to Aunt Maudine about her painting, where she worked, what gave her inspiration. I never would have thought my own Aunt would be so enthralled by art at this hands-on a level. But, before you know it she was inviting the nice girl to Luigi’s to eat with us. I didn’t even know we were going to Luigi’s.

Thank goodness they serve wine. I just witnessed the transformation of a dearly beloved relative, right in front of my eyes. I can’t wait to tell my cousin Myrna about this.

Anastasia Absolutely Does Not Gossip

Now, I want you to know that I absolutely do not gossip. But, you already knew that, so let’s move on. Being that I do not gossip, I find it difficult to tell this story in a wholesome way, so I’ll just do my best. Do you know that house down there on Lexington and Ila? The brownish one? Well, my cousin Myrna told me that the other night there were police surrounding the place at 2 in the morning. She was out driving around, as one does. Now, it’s none of my business, and I’m not going to say that there was anything improper going on there, but I will insinuate the living daylights out of it. I don’t know the people who live there, but I imagine they won’t be living there much longer.

On a similar note, but not quite as scandalous, have you noticed that Maxine has been dressing up awfully nice these days. I can’t figure if she’s come into some money or she’s finally found a love interest. Who that might be, though? I don’t know if Maxine has left the city limits of Elgin Texas in the last three years. But one never knows.

That’s not to say that I disagree with her outfits. She really has put some thought into it, and she’s probably consulted with Juanita over at the G&M Dry Goods store. (Honestly, I can’t imagine why they’d call it that. They don’t sell flour or sugar, but who am I to judge. At least they had a nice sign plastered over the doorway, all ready for them to call it that.)

At last month’s Sip, Shop & Stroll (They really need to make a decision on commas) I saw Maxine walking with a gaggle of friends, just laughing and looking the best I’ve ever seen her, and I’ve known her since grade school. There’s just something about these downtown occasions that brings out the best in girls. Get out the of house, out of the cooking and cleaning routine, and very possibly I saw her look sideways at Ralph, the plumber. He got married right out of high school and moved to Colorado. I noticed that he came back without a wife, so I don’t know what’s going on with that. Myrna hasn’t told me yet.

I like Maxine. She’s always been a very good and caring person and I hope that she does have a love interest, and more importantly a man who is interested in her. Unrequited love may be good for literature and those torch singers in Austin, but it doesn’t do the average female much good. And Maxine has done her fair share of waiting. In a small town the prospects are limited. And if I remember correctly she always did have a crush on Ralph in high school. Then he moved away and she became a notary public and did her best to move on with life. It must have been hard on her notarizing all those real estate contracts while she was living in that home her daddy left her, there with her little dogs. She always did have excellent taste in pets.

At one point during Sip, Shop & Stroll I saw her leaning in all excited like, talking to her girlfriend. I was too far away to see her left hand and she got away faster than I could saunter by. So, I’ll have to send Myrna around to Luigi’s on Thursday, when everybody in town knows Maxine has lunch with her best friends. They do have a nice wine selection, so I don’t blame her for that.

Well, it’s been good talking with you in this little column they give me. I hope you enjoy the rest of this day. I’m so glad it’s been raining and it’s not a hundred and seventeen degrees yet. There’s time enough for that nonsense in August.

I'm Gonna Sit Right Down...

Some of you may know me from seeing me at Luigi's eating their scrumptious bread and maybe tasting the tiniest little sip of wine from their collection. I may have just made myself hungry there. But anyway, let me tell you that contrary to popular opinion, I do more than sip wine and eat. Just yesterday I was trapping cats with the Elgin Alley Cats ladies and I happened to see one of the most darling little kittens I've ever come across. He was kind of gray and black, with white and with long fur and whiskers as long as my right arm. I swear I think there might have been some blue in that coloring. Unfortunately, that little booger is already a teenager and settled into his emo angst, so there's no threat of him coming home with me.

But, this cute little town is just brimming with things to see. I love just walking around looking at houses and yards and listening to dogs half-strangle themselves trying to get off their leashes when I walk by. I figure they either really want to say hi and love on me, or they want to kill me and tear me to shreds. So, while I do love doggies, I'm not one to get too close to pups that I don't know personally. You go ahead and walk on your side of the street; I’ll walk on mine.

Meanwhile, it's May and everybody is planting flowers and mowing their lawns. I just love seeing all those straight lines in the grass. It's like when I vacuum a carpet, except I didn't have to do the work. This time of year is kind of magic here in Central Texas. Our half-hearted excuse for a winter is past, there is finally no more danger of one last freeze to take out the trees that are putting leaves out, and summer's oppressive heat hasn't kicked in just yet. Everybody's walking around, just as happy as they can be, covered in yellow pollen and sneezing, but no matter because it's just too beautiful to not be outside. Today was especially nice because the temperature dropped into the 70's. When I woke up for lunch I couldn't wait to get outside and just be in it. I didn't have much of anywhere to go, so I thought I'd take a walk downtown.

So yes, you may have seen me at Luigi's enjoying some of their amazing chicken pomodoro. And it's very possible that if you happened to walk by The Owl Wine Bar & Home Good Store later on, you might have seen me looking at their merchandise, dreaming about how to incorporate it into my home. And yes, I most likely had a glass of wine in my hand, but honestly, you're being the tiniest bit judgmental right now.

Anyway, I thought to myself that I needed to stop by that cornerstone of the United States communications—the Post Office. It's so embarrassingly easy to do everything on computers these days that we forget that stamps and lovely people are waiting for us in that building that we've all taken for granted. But, they've been faithful to us. I get coupons and sales circulars every week and it's all thanks to them.

So, I decided to see if they had any interesting stamps. Just my luck they had some with pictures of murals that had been painted inside of post offices around the country in the 1930's and 40's. It just makes me so happy to see these little stamps. I remember when I was a little girl this was how we kept in touch. We'd send a letter off to our Granny and then soon enough a letter would come back to us in the mail. We didn't get chirps all the livelong day from the mobile phone alerting you about people sending you pictures that they had been sent, and that have been making the rounds on the world wide web for months and years without anybody ever even looking at them before sending them to every phone number they've ever come across. When you got a letter, it was something worth getting. You had to wait a good week to get a response, and sometimes it had a dollar bill in it. None of this wham, bam, thank-you-ma'am kind of communication. There was some anticipation built up that made life more interesting.

So, I think I'm going to sit myself down tonight with a glass of wine and some stationery and see if I can't make some friends and family happy by sending them an actual letter. I'll spray some of them with some perfume, that way they'll know it was from me before they even see the front of the envelope.

Okay, I have some letters to write, so I'll talk with you later. Take care of yourself now.

Studio and Storage

Now, I like to keep my nose in my own business, you know I do. And you know that I don't repeat gossip, so I need you to sit down and pay attention. Would you like some iced tea? What's that? Of course it's sweet; it's iced tea. I swear, it seems like some of you people were raised in a barn. Here you go.

You know that couple that lives over on Lexington Road? The ones with the studio that looks like a set storage of units? I think they call it Studio 621, named after their address. I personally  think they could have put more thought into it, but that's just me. The long building just to the side of it is for actual storage units.

Anyway, I was visiting them the other day. They have made the inside of the studio look amazing. It's still rustic-looking with a beautiful wood ceiling, but enough drywall on the walls to make it look cleaner. The two together, plus the storage unit doors that are still on the outside, just make my mind spin. I wanted to have a party there and I don't have anything in particular to celebrate until my birthday in 10 months. But, you know me; I'd never let a thing like that stop me from having a nice little get-together with some mint juleps and margaritas. And food; they have a full kitchen in there. I could get my cousin Myrna to cook for us and we'd have a great time. They have these two French window doors that open to a patio and a field beyond. They told me that it's all part of the property, up to the trees on all three sides. It's just beautiful, I'm telling you. I can just picture myself with friends sitting on that patio and maybe even in the grass, margaritas in hand (mint juleps for me) and just talk and laugh and enjoy it all. He even said he had a disco ball he'd set up out there once. I swear the possibilities make my mind reel.

There's one little corner inside, though, that is a little disturbing. It's before you get to the main room, in a little nook to the left. I can barely tell that it's a nook at all except for the top of the desk that sticks up. It's a fabulous large corner desk with cabinets above, like they used in the 90's. It's real wood. It just makes me want to get my polish out. But I'm telling you I wouldn't be able to get to it because the whole space is filled up. I enquired about it, real gently you know. Just like, "Oh, what is thing piece of furniture right in front here? It looks like a nice piece." Well, it turns out it's a fold-away bed. They bought it from Furniture in the Raw in town—Austin, I mean. I ask why on earth it was stuck back in that corner and he told me that they're getting the room in the back ready to be a guest room. That's all fine, well and good, but that bed wasn't even close to the only thing in there. I decided to let it go. No need pressing them about it and wearing out my welcome. I have parties to plan.

It did make me think about those storage units on the side, though. When I was walking out to my car he walked with me, of course, and I asked about the storage spaces. I said I had some things I could keep there for a while and how much did he charge. He told me that the only one that was available was already rented to a neighbor. Again, I left it alone, but there's something about not talking or asking questions that leads people to tell you everything they know anyway. He told me that two of the units housed the equipment for a ceramic tile business that he had bought once a few years ago. He said he still pulls it out a couple of times a year when he gets an order, but he doesn't actively pursue it. So, in my mind I used the power of math to figure out: that explained three of the six units, so therefore the other three are left unexplained, but apparently filled because they're not available.

I don't know about you, but there's almost nothing I love more in life than to have a few drinks and start digging through other people's stuff. I resisted the itch to demand entry into those three other units. It was all I could do not to ask, but I do want to have a party in there with those great big glass doors looking out over that beautiful mowed field. So, I got in my car and was on my way. But, you mark my words, I'm going to find out what's in those three storage units and it's going to be so much fun. We'll set up a blender and just all have a big ol' party with it. We could make it into a kind of drive-by yard sale. People will have to keep coming back by as we pull out more stuff and investigate it.

I may not be able to sleep tonight for thinking about it.

Chemn Cafe

I was over at the Chemn Cafe the other day. (The poor dear, I hate to tell her she spelled it wrong.) Anyway, so I'm sitting there minding my own business, enjoying the latte that the nice young man made for me, when I heard a loud noise. At first I thought somebody was breaking in, but that doesn't make sense because the establishment was open for business. I tried looking out the window, but I couldn't see anything on my side. The people on the other side of the cafe were laughing at something outside, and I can't stand to be left out of a joke, so I went over there to see what was going on. What I saw didn't make any more sense at first than the idea of somebody breaking in to an open door. This poor dog was sitting in the middle of the sidewalk tied to a bench. The bench was also in the middle of the sidewalk. A woman, presumably the dog's owner, was trying to untie the dog from the bench while the dog, and the bench, kept moving. Turns out the lady had tied the dog in the first place so she could stop in to the thrift store next door (they always have the nicest things) and the dog decided that he didn't want to deal with separation, so he just followed her along, dragging the cast iron bench behind him as if nothing were any different. I have to say that she looked pretty sheepish standing there with a bench that wasn't hers being dragged across the sidewalk by a dog that was hers. Fortunately, the nice man from behind the counter went outside to assist with the dog and move the bench back to its rightful place once the dog was untethered.

Like my Aunt Maudine used to say, you really never know what somebody is capable of. If a person (or dog) wants something bad enough, they'll find a way. Aunt Maudine herself is a good case in point. She really wanted a lake house on the other side of Austin. She thought about it; she hung pictures of the lake on her refrigerator so she'd see it every time she went to refill her wine glass. Sure enough, a nice man who happened to have a condominium in Austin, asked her to dinner and to make a long story short, Aunt Maudine and her now-husband live on his lakeside property. She gets to wake up every morning and look out at her dream come true. Now she just needs to figure out what to do with the husband. She says he doesn't match the furniture, which is rather disappointing, if you ask me. They just had the house remodeled; why didn't she think of that at the time?

Well, it was good to chat with you. I hope to see you on Main street again. Do stop by Martha's Market. It's a lot of fun to see what people have had lying around their homes for the last half century that they have finally decided to part with. You might even find some old Pyrex glass; I hear those old vintage bowls can be worth a lot of money these days. Have fun and we'll talk with you soon.

Introduction

How are you on this beautiful spring morning? I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. My name is Anastasia, by the way. I don't know if I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you formally. I've lived here just about all my life and I'll tell you something, this town is not the quiet cozy village that people seem to think it is. Why, just last week I saw my neighbor Rosa watering her garden and she was just singing away. You might wonder why I would think that was scandalous, but here's the deal. Rosa's husband ran away with another woman. Well, he didn't exactly run away, he just sort of moved in with her until other things could be arranged. And, she's not exactly a woman, if you ask me. She's barely 25. He's 50 if he's a day. So, why would Rosa be so happy watering her yard of plants. (Way too many plants, if you ask me, but she never does.) You're probably thinking what I'm thinking. Frank from up the street has been a widower far too long. I'm not going to say that I saw his car parked in her garage, but why would he do that anyway? He doesn't live but three blocks away. Who needs a car for a neighborhood tryst?

That's not to say that I'm overly critical of people who need to take care of themselves. There's nothing wrong with doing what you want to do, but I think that people could practice a little decorum. My sister, she works at the county office with a woman who lives in the Elm Creek subdivision—and that's something else I never understood. Here we have a lovely little town with beautiful houses and great big 'ol trees. Why would they chop down a lot of trees on the outskirts of town and then build roads, and then houses on those roads that were named after the aforementioned trees? Anyway, so this lady thinks that she can bring her lunch every day, which is fine as far as I'm concerned. Luigi's is always a little busy during lunch anyway. But, the fact that you are a vegetarian, or a plant based herbivore or whatever silly name they call themselves this year, does not give you the right to heat up yesterday's soggy broccoli in the community microwave oven. People have lost all sense of decency.

Well, anyway, it was nice to meet you. I'll be out and about during Sip, Shop and Stroll as soon as I learn how to pronounce it. I hope to see you there.